One week today...

It has been one week today, in fact, one week almost to the minute! It has been a very tough week, and I do not see it getting any better any time soon.
If there has been any blessing to my two years of unemployment, I got to spend everyday of the last two years of her life with her. This was a blessing and at the same time a curse... spending all that time with her, brought us closer and thereby harder to deal with her loss... A loss that will never be replaced!

Bringing Dallas home...

Yesterday I brought Dallas home again. I had been anxious to bring her home, but when the call came to tell me she was ready, suddenly I was not so sure. Bringing home her remains would not be the same as bringing her home again.
The people who took care of Dallas were wonderful. the name of the place is Dreamland, in Kennesaw. When they picked her up from the vet's office, they wrapped her body in a blanket, and when they placed her in the vehicle, her head was laid on a pillow. They believe in treating our pets with the same respect a human body deserves.
They also gave me several locks of her hair. Clipped from around the eyes, ears, mouth, back, and heart. Each of these clippings has it's own special meaning. They also gave me a ceramic paw print. Her ashes were placed in an oak box with a very ornately carved top.

It has been two days now....

and my heart grows heavier with each passing day.
Yesterday, I sat in my office, a room that was decorated with a Black Lab theme... it has photos of Dallas, paintings of Labs on the walls, and ceramic busts and statues of Labs. it was my shrine to Dallas that was created when we moved here 5 years ago.
I sat at my desk thinking of the memories of my time with Dallas. I have a lock of her hair in a bag, I took out the hair to feel it, to smell her scent on it, desperately try to bring her closer to me. 
Tomorrow I go to pick up her remains... I am anxious to bring her home to be close to her, but it is going to be so hard to see only her ashes and not her wagging tail and big brown eyes. I miss her so much...

Today I lost my best friend of 15 years…

For 15 years this friend has been at my side. She has loved me, comforted me, consoled me, and amused me. she never criticized me and she accepted me with all my faults without judgment. When I think back over the past 15 years, I cannot remember a time I ever regretted. She slept with me… She walked with me… She played with me…

When I first met her, she was six weeks old, a big black, lovable, Labrador retriever. Her feet as a puppy were almost as big as an adult. She possessed long black floppy ears. She had the best personality, was the most friendly, and lovable dog anyone could ask for, and I asked for her. Actually, I asked for a male black lab. Sue and ner best friend searched all over the Antelope Valley for just the right dog. You see, I had an idea of what I wanted. Amy had a black lab named Zep, and Bruno was the other model lab I adored. Sue decided to surprise me for Father's Day 1995. She drove home from work with this black lab puppy in her lap, and I had no idea; my life was about to change forever! I named her Dallas, after the Dallas Cowboys, and she was a great companion from the beginning. She did not chew things up, she was not destructive. We still have toys she got as a puppy that can be played with today. She was lovable, playful and all she wanted was my approval and love. That is the way it has been for 15 years. We lived on 2.5 acres and it was her kingdom, her world. Over the years her kingdom kept getting smaller but she never complained.

I also used to own paint horses, and one of my favorites was No Slack Jack! A black and white paint gelding, he was my other buddy. Dallas used to go into his pen and when Jack would put his head down; she would grab him by the ear and lead him around. Jack did not seem to mind, he just went where she lead him. Often that was to where I was standing at the edge of his pen. When we moved to Georgia, we transported the dogs (Muffin, Cindy and Dallas) in carriers on an airplane. We stood at the window in the terminal waiting to see them loaded. The final boarding call was made for our flight and we had not seen the dogs loaded. Sue told the gate agent we were not boarding until we saw the dogs loaded. The agent told us if we wanted to catch the flight we had to board, and assured us the dogs would be aboard. After we were seated and belted in, the pilot announced to the couple with the dogs, they had been loaded, secured and were doing fine.

When Dallas was about 3, she went on a 7 mile March of Dimes walk. The walk went through the streets of Marietta, Ga. She walked the full 7 miles without a leash, except at the rest areas, she stayed by my side for the entire 7 miles, and amazed all those who walked with us. Both the dogs used to go to work with me on Take Your Dog to Work day. It is typically a Friday in June. Prior to the first time, my coworkers were talking about ways to contain their dog in their office during the day. I was asked what I planned to do. I responded I was going to tell my dogs to stay in my office and they would. No one believed me… they had not met my dogs yet, and did not know how well behaved they were. I brought Dallas and Cindy both to work. They stayed in my office, all day, without restraint. Both of them amazed everyone. By the end of the day, I had several people ask me if I would train their dog for them, and one mother who wanted to know if I would train her daughter for her! I told her that my dogs were better behaved than my kids; you probably don't want me training your daughter.

On another occasion, I took Dallas and Cindy to our company picnic. This was in the summer of 2000. Sue had made a trip to Ohio to spend time with her sister Sharon. The picnic was at a park called Red Top Mountain. The picnic area was at the top of a hilltop. The hill jutted out into the lake on three sides. Some of the smaller kids were playing with a large plastic ball, throwing it back and forth. It got away from them and went rolling down the hill toward the water. Dallas saw this as a challenge. No one ever threw a ball that she did not have a mind to go after. So off we all went… the ball rolling down the hill, the kids chasing the ball, Dallas chasing after them, and me chasing after Dallas. The ball made it to the bottom of the hill, Dallas passed up all the kids, and as the ball shot off the ledge over the lake, Dallas leaped after it! now, Dallas was raised in the desert, so she had no idea what a pool of water was. All she knew was the ball was out there and I am going after it. She leapt, as far as she could, off the ledge, about 6 feet above the water. When she hit the water, she sank… A few seconds later she surfaced with this terrified look on her face and headed for shore. Suddenly, she realized why she was in this predicament in the first place. She turned, went after the ball and herded it back to shore where I pulled both from the water! I don't think she ever got used to the idea, she was never fond of swimming!

One day, Sue made about 5 dozen cookies with an orange flavored frosting on them. She left them on the kitchen counter to cool while she went out to run some errands. When she came home, ALL the cookies were gone, and Dallas had frosting all over her face and nose. Her belly was big enough to land a small airplane on her back! Dallas, with Cindy's help, ate 5 dozen cookies in one sitting!

Dallas loved her toys. She could not get enough of them, and would constantly bring you her favorite toy of the week to you so she could play. One day, I got a phone call from Sue at home. Dallas had gone out into the backyard and found a dead squirrel. She brought it into the house, dropped it at Sue's feet and was ready to play! Needless to say, Sue freaked out and Dallas did not get to play!

Many times when we were getting ready to go on a trip, we would have a suitcase on the floor in the bedroom. Dallas would decide she was going to help us with our packing… or in this case our unpacking! She went through the suitcase and removed our clothes for us… she did not want us to leave on our trip! Other times when we would leave her at home by herself, she would let us know she was unhappy by opening the entry closet door, pulling coats off their hangars, and pulling her leash off its hook.

Dallas also had a way of getting non-dog people to love her too. My father was never really fond of dogs. He had them on the farm when he was small, but they were work animals, not pets. We had dogs when I was a child, but to my dad, I am sure they were just a responsibility my brother and I were supposed to have, but he ended up with. Dallas was different. My dad loved Dallas and she loved him also. she would go to his house and dad would always have Cheeto's to share with her. She loved Cheeto's and I think my dad loved sharing them with her. After my dad was gone, Dallas would still go over to their house and go to my dad's chair looking for him and the Cheeto's!

As I said, she was a very smart dog. She learned how to open interior doors in the house. We had to put a door handle with a lock on it on the pantry door to keep her from utilizing the pantry as she pleased. About 6 years ago, she got very ill. We had no idea what was wrong with her. The Vet could not figure it out, but she became very lethargic, would not eat or even wag her tail. I would have to help her up and carry her outside to go to the bathroom… not easy with a 100 lb dog. We were certain we were going to lose her, and in desperation, I called a animal chiropractor. We had used chiropractors with our show horses' years ago, and figured we had nothing to lose. The chiropractor made a house call and adjusted Dallas's spine and hips and within a couple of days, she was her old self, up playing, running around and full of life again. Unfortunately this time around there is no miracle solutions to turn to. at 15, she is the equivalent of 105 years old in human terms. She has lived a very full life. She is probably the most loved dog and has been treated as a member of the family, and not just the family pet.

Ironically to the very end, one thing Dallas did not like… Dallas Cowboy football games! I named her for my favorite team and she would have no part of them. Every year, I would sit and watch the games. I could watch any other team, and she would just lay there… when the Cowboys game came on, she would get up and high tail it to the bedroom. I am not sure how she knew when the Cowboys were on versus other teams, but she knew and it was the one thing I could never get her to share with me.

So today, I have made my peace, I have completed the final act of love that I could do for her. She never complained, but it was becoming very apparent that she was experiencing pain in her hips and back legs. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It ranks up there with burying children, parents, and sending my only son to war.

I could go on for pages and pages regaling stories of the smiles she brought to people. I always thought Dallas would have made a great Guide dog, she had that personality. I wrote this tribute to honor her, to remember her. I will miss her terribly, but we will always be together. I am having her cremated and I am going to hold on to her. When I die, her ashes are to be placed with my remains and we will be buried together! I close with this poem from an unknown author:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.


When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

So long old friend, I love you, miss you already, will never forget you, and look forward to the day we cross Rainbow Bridge together! Go in peace, my friend!